As mums, we often make sacrifices, and for many of us, self-care is a big one. When you have a new baby, you might be lucky to get a shower at all – a good blowout and some makeup might just be too much to ask for. It doesn’t get much easier as the kids get older, and it’s easy to fall into a routine where you’re giving your kids’ needs such a priority that caring for yourself falls by the wayside completely.

But self-care can actually make you a better mum in many ways, and I’ve listed six below. So, the next time you feel guilty about taking time for self-care, remind yourself that it’s something that actually benefits your kids just as much as it helps you!

1. Sleep

I don’t need to tell you how awful you can feel after a bad night of sleep, but sleep deprivation also comes with a slew of serious health risks. If you regularly get less than six hours of sleep per night, you could be facing a higher risk of depression, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and weight gain. All of these problems – not to mention the bad mood that comes with sleep deprivation – can affect your family as well.

I know it’s hard to get to bed earlier most days. However, you can try cutting down on caffeine later in the day and avoiding screens in the hour before bedtime. Do something screen-free and relaxing before bed, like reading a book, to raise the chances of getting a good night’s sleep.

2. Connections

It’s natural for friendships to drift as we shift into motherhood, but if there’s one thing the pandemic has taught is, it’s that social isolation isn’t good for anyone. 

Take the time to reconnect with old friends or make some new ones, and keep in touch with family, even if it means talking on speakerphone while you’re folding laundry. You’ll be surprised by how much maintaining important connections in your life can make you feel better.

3. Exercise

You already know that exercising is one of the top things you can do for your health – and one of the best ways to raise your chances of living long enough to see your kids start their own families one day. 

Like it or not, we all need to exercise. And if you fall into the latter category, I’d argue that you just haven’t found an exercise you love. It shouldn’t feel like torture – it should be invigorating. Lots of people love running because the euphoric “runner’s high” feeling is real and it’s awesome, but maybe dancing, boxing, yoga, or YouTube fitness videos are more your speed. Put on your favourite music or a podcast and make this important investment in your mental and physical well-being, and your kids will benefit from a happier, healthier mum!

4. Romance

Romance is often the furthest thing from your mind after a long day of chasing after a toddler, cooking, cleaning and working, but it really is important to nurture your relationship with your partner. How does this make you a better mum? For one, it models healthy relationships for your kids. Whether you realise it or not, they are forming their ideas of what a relationship should look like by seeing how you and your partner interact. 

It also helps keep your relationship strong, giving your kids a stable home and hopefully avoiding the drama that can come with separation or divorce. Try to fit in something fun and different with your spouse from time to time and have regular date nights, even if you have to do it at home. If you feel like there’s just no way to pull it off, check out my No-Excuse Home Date Night Ideas.

5. Reflection

Find moments where you can focus on your inner well-being. Whether you meditate, pray or journal, even a few minutes a day of reflection can bring about significant benefits. 

Not only will you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, but the sense of calm and well-being that you’ll derive from getting into this habit will help you keep your cool when your kids are really trying your patience. 

6. Beauty

It may seem frivolous, but the truth is that spending time enhancing your looks really can make you a better mum. In the early days with a new baby, this might mean simply committing to a daily shower and one type of makeup that gives you an instant lift, like filling in your brows or putting on lipstick. 

As your kids get older and you don’t need to watch them every second, you should absolutely not feel guilty about pulling off your whole makeup and hair routine as often as possible. Beauty routines aren’t just a creative outlet for self-expression; wearing makeup is actually a natural mood-booster that supports emotional wellness and enhances your self-esteem. Confident mum, confident kids!

Whether you decide to make a self-care schedule to hold yourself accountable or you decide you’ll just start fitting in self-care moments where you can for now, devoting some time to caring for yourself is one of the best things you can do for your family. The next time you feel like you shouldn’t spend time on yourself, don’t forget that when you feel your best, you’re more likely to give your best.